Nudist Cruise Page 9

  “Well, look at them,” he answered. “Children are natural nudists.”

  He had a point there. These children were running around, splashing in the water, screaming and generally having a good time. The only difference between them and children at any other pool was that they were all naked. There was nothing creepy or weird about it. It was the most natural thing in the world.

  They were in no danger. The lifeguard was paying attention. There were plenty of parents around. Next to the pool was the daycare center and in there were a bunch of people whose job is to watch children. This seemed like a very safe place to be. The only thing that gave me even the slightest hint of trouble was that a lot of people were naked, but nothing about the naked people seemed dangerous.

  A little Canadian girl came up to me and told me that her name is Tina. I told her that my name is Hailey, and before I knew it we were sitting near the pool and playing checkers.

  We talked about all the things her family had planned for their big Asian vacation.

  “We’re going to see the giant sleeping Buddha in Thailand and see dragons in Hong Kong and buy dresses in Vietnam and see the giant mountain Buddha in Hong Kong and buy dolls in China,” Tina told me enthusiastically.

  We talked about how mean her brother was, although he sounded fairly typical for an older brother. We talked about her favorite subject in school, computers, which just made me feel old. We did not use any computers when I was in school until high school, and by then everybody was already an expert.

  “I like writing code in html,” Tina said.

  She is eight years old and she is writing computer codes. The only code I knew when I was eight was that when my parents spelled out words, they did not want me to know what they were talking about or what they were saying.

  Tina got very excited when I told her that I worked at Disneyland. I did not tell her that I sometimes play Belle and Snow White because I did not know how much she understood acting. But just that I go there every day was enough for her to look at me like I was a movie star.

  “We went to Disney World last year,” Tina told me. “It was the best ever. I saw Mickey and Minnie and Goofy, he’s my favorite, and Ariel was there but I didn’t get to talk to her and I went on ‘it’s a small world’ like 100 times and Buzz Lightyear and the Pirates…”

  I think she listed every ride she went on in a single breath.

  I almost asked her if she realized there was a Disneyland in Hong Kong, but then I thought that maybe her parents did not want her to know. The ship was only scheduled to be in Hong Kong for nine hours. If they took her to Disneyland, her parents would not have time to see anything else. Hong Kong Disneyland is not nearly as good as Disney World anyway. Tina would probably not be disappointed, but the difference would be obvious to her parents.

  During our conversation and game of checkers, I never really noticed that she was naked. She had the natural exuberance of a little girl that makes it hard to notice anything else. It was only when I was about to leave and she wanted her mother to take a picture of us together that I was fully aware of her nudity. I don’t know what the rules are for nudist parents taking pictures of their own children, but I knew that I did not want to be in them. Debate laws and rules of etiquette all you want, but don’t put me in the middle.

  The mother caught on to my reluctance right away. It was probably more obvious to her than to her daughter how clothed I was. So the mother wrapped a towel around Tina and took our picture. We all said our goodbyes and I went down a few decks to the main promenade.

  It seemed like there was something going on everywhere I went. This was one of the days at sea, so the ship pulled out all the stops to keep the passengers entertained. They delivered a newsletter to everybody’s cabin every day telling us where all the activities were on the ship and what entertainment was scheduled that day. Everything we needed to know about what, where and when was at our doorstep every morning. The newsletter even told us when the sun was supposed to rise and set.

  There was a basketball free throw contest on the small basketball court, a chess tournament on the jumbo chess board, a ping pong tournament next to that, a putting contest on the miniature golf course, a poker tournament and bingo in the casino, face and body painting near the main pool, a trivia contest on the sun deck, cooking classes, wine tasting, bingo and all the usual activities they have every day. It would be impossible for anyone to do it all.

  Even with all of these activities going on, there were still quiet corners of the ship where people could just relax, read a book or soak up the sun. With so much to do, I did not care that everyone else was naked, and none of them cared that I was not.

  I heard about a lecture in the library on the benefits of the nudist lifestyle. Normally I would never even think about going to some lecture when I am on a cruise ship full of a million things to do and eat, but I was curious about these people and their unusual hobby. I was also ready for some quiet time away from so many people and I assumed this lecture would not be very popular. After all, why do nudists need to learn about nudism? I was wrong about that.

  The library was pretty much full. By the time I got there, I don’t think there was any room for anyone else. Almost everyone was naked. A few women were wearing bikini bottoms or shorts. Once again, I was the only one with clothes on. For a clothing optional cruise, I always seemed to be the only one taking the clothing option.

  The speaker, completely naked, talked about how healthy it is to be naked. He talked about the sun and how unhygienic it is to wear clothes. A lot of it made sense, except that too much sun is never good for you.

  His wife got up and spoke about how nudists don’t live in shame and have a better body image than “the textiles”, meaning me and my kind. I quickly learned that nudists like to call people who wear clothes “textiles”.

  I was waiting for one of them to point out how clothed I was and call me an unbeliever, but nothing like that ever happened. The female speaker made a point of making eye contact with me while she was talking about encouraging others to give nudism a try, but no one ever tried to pressure me into getting naked.

  One of the nudists in the audience had a question about towels and the husband started talking about towels far more than I have ever heard anyone talk about towels. It was towels this and towels that. Only then did I realize that everyone, except me, was sitting on a towel. I was the only one sitting directly on a chair.

  The explanation for towels was a little more graphic than I would have preferred, but the point seemed to be that nudists were more considerate than the rest of us because they sit on towels.

  “What about skin cancer?” I asked.

  They had an easy answer for that. Sunscreen and hats.

  “What about safety?” I asked. “If I’m by myself, how can I feel safe surrounded by a bunch of naked men?”

  They pointed out that most nudist resorts, as well as the cruise, were mostly couples. There usually are few if any single men around. They also said that nudists tend to be more sociable than textiles and they are usually in groups. A single woman is more likely to be with other women and couples. Single men almost always go with groups.

  “What about the children?” I asked. “Is it healthy for them to grow up around all this nudity?”

  Everyone had an opinion on that one. They unanimously agreed that children who grow up in nudist environments have healthier attitudes about their own bodies and are far less repressed than the rest of us. I could not argue with that. I grew up in a very repressive environment and I’m still paying for it. I could not say anything about their safety since I had already seen some children safely having the time of their lives.

  I got the feeling that they had heard all of my questions a million times before. It was like everyone in the room knew the answers to everything before I was even finished asking.

  I learned a lot about their ways, but nobody said anything that was going to convince me to join their club. A lot o
f what they said was based on ideal conditions and there are more than a few times in this life when things are not ideal. The cruise is probably safe and healthy, but someplace like a nude beach could easily be dangerous under the wrong circumstances.

  What I appreciated was that they obviously wanted me to join and they were more than happy to answer any questions I had, but there was no pressure at all. The main theme of clothing optional seemed to be that everyone wanted me to take the naked option, but at whatever time and place that was most comfortable for me. Unlike every other organization in the world that thinks they are right and everyone else is wrong, these people were perfectly happy letting me decide if and when I would give their way a try.

  Chapter 10: Liam’s Big Show

  By the time the nudism lecture was over, I was ready for lunch. I wanted to try one of the other restaurants, but I was still not completely comfortable with the idea of eating with a bunch of naked people around, so I went back to the main restaurant where clothes are always required. It was not as empty as I expected for a naked day at sea. There were a few clothed nudists eating their lunch, but it was nowhere close to full.

  After lunch, I went back to my cabin. All the constant activity everywhere was like walking down Hennessy Road at Causeway Bay on a Friday night. It can be exciting at first, but it makes your head spin after a while. Sometimes you need to get away to somewhere private. Nowhere on the ship was more private than my cabin.

  I also had to change for Liam’s show. I guess it was never going to matter since most of the audience was naked, but I don’t like to be too informal when I go out to the theater. It’s not a formal occasion, but naked is a little more casual than what I would prefer. I almost cringe when I see people in the audience wearing shorts and baseball caps.

  I had some time before Liam’s show, so I went out onto the cabin balcony. It was not big – just enough for two people to sit on lounge chairs – but it was a great thing to have on a cruise ship. The views never changed all that much. It was mostly ocean and sky, but it was a better view than most of the hotels where I have ever stayed. I’ll take an ocean view over some guy’s window in the building across the street any day. It was also terribly useful to have something that opened up to all that wide space from such a tiny room. The balcony made the room seem much more spacious than it really was.

  The balcony was also as private as you could get on a large boat. You could not see anyone’s balcony from any other balcony or anywhere else on the ship. They designed it for complete privacy. The only way to see someone on one of the balconies is to be on another boat or on the pier when the ship was in port. On the ocean, you have a great view from your balcony, but nobody has a view of you.

  Since I had all that privacy, I stripped off all my clothes. It was a nudist cruise, after all. No one could see me, but even if someone somehow did, this was the one hotel where nobody was going to complain about seeing somebody naked.

  I was uncomfortable at first, but the longer I stood there, the more I knew that no one could see me. I was completely naked, but only the fish could know, and even they were at least one hundred feet down. Looking straight down from the balcony, I could definitely tell that this was a huge ship. The more I looked down, the more I thought about how bad it would be to fall over the rail. The more I thought about falling over the rail, the more I realized how dangerous these balconies are.

  There was a nice breeze to keep my mind off things about which I truly did not need to be thinking. The ship was going fairly fast, but it was hard to tell on the vast ocean. The water one hundred feet below did not seem to be moving quickly and the sky was as stationary as always. The breeze and ocean air felt refreshing on my naked skin. I was starting to forget about plummeting to my death and started thinking that maybe these nudists had a good idea. A naked swim on the pool deck would have been a great thing right then and there. The problem was all those other people around.

  I had reservations to Liam’s afternoon and evening shows. The cruise ship always had a few different shows every day so passengers could go to the main theater every night and see something new. Liam’s shows were different each day, but both of his shows on the same day were the same. I went to both because he is my boyfriend. I’m also a performer, so I know how important it is to have some support in the audience. Where I work, we often sit in the audience when we are not on. Fans can make all the difference between a good show and a great show. Nothing is worse than a dead audience. Friends can always liven up things.

  The main theater was pretty big for a boat. It must have had at least an eight hundred person capacity. There was even a wrap around balcony and special VIP box seats. I don’t know why people sit in the balcony. Those are better seats to be seen in than to see the show. I guess that is why some people like to sit in the balcony. I made sure my seat was fifth row, just right of center, stage left because that is where the best seats are.

  All of the shows in the main theater were extravagant Las Vegas style productions – exactly the kind of performance Liam has always hated doing. We actually toyed with the idea of moving to Las Vegas a couple of years ago while we were looking into Hong Kong, but I think working there would have killed him. I could probably survive Las Vegas, but he would turn to gambling and heavy drinking. It would not be pretty.

  I don’t mind all the glitz and flashy lighting. I am more of a dancer than singer, so big production numbers are my bread and butter. I would love to just get on a bare stage and do some expressive choreography, but no one pays me for that. If you want to earn a living as a dancer, you have to get used to bright lights and loud noises.

  Liam would rather just stand onstage with his guitar and sing a song, but that is not what they do on cruise ships. We should put together our own act with him sitting on a stool and playing guitar and me dancing to his music. We could probably set a new record for fastest closing.

  Liam’s afternoon and evening shows on the cruise ship were the same, but there were differences. There were a lot more people at the evening show, and most of them were naked. It looked like a full house. The afternoon show was about half empty. That’s what you get with a matinee.

  People had a million other things to do on a sea day besides sit in a dark theater for a couple of hours. Most of the passengers seemed to prefer watching shows in the evening, just as they do on land.

  The biggest difference for me was my participation in the evening show. When Liam sang “I Have Dreamed” from The King and I during the afternoon show, we both looked at each other. We have performed this song together about a million times, so it was a fun little moment for us. For the evening show, Liam told the audience that there was a special surprise guest and he told me to come up on stage. It was as much a surprise to me as it was for the audience.

  So I went onstage and we sang the song. It came off pretty well, despite absolutely no rehearsal, since we have done it so many times before, but what was unusual was that Liam was sitting at a piano. He does not play piano, he plays guitar. Since he was filling in for Sebastian, who plays piano, they just had him sit at the piano and use a backing track. The piano part was recorded, but the other instruments and vocals were all live.

  I would like to say that I’m not used to using backing tracks and I always do everything live, but unfortunately that is not the truth. At Disneyland, we use backing tracks religiously. Very little is done live. In the parades and street shows, nothing is live. That’s another little secret I never told Tina. Not only is Ariel an actress in a wig, but she is not even singing her songs.

  After our little impromptu duet, I was going to go back into the audience, but the stage manager wanted me to go backstage.

  “You can’t sit out there,” he told me.

  “Why not?” I asked. “I want to see the rest of the show.”

  “You’d be a distraction to the audience,” he said. “It spoils the illusion if you go back and sit down with them.”

  I had a hard time ag
reeing with that. I think any audience can handle a performer sitting with them. Unless someone like Paul McCartney comes and sits down. That would be a major distraction. I should be fine.

  “Nobody knows that was improvised,” he told me. “You look more like a performer than a passenger,” he said, looking at what I was wearing – clothes.

  Since I don’t have any cruise ship experience and since this guy was the stage manager – it was his show, not mine – I stayed backstage for the rest of Liam’s performance.

  When the show was over, I went to the cast dressing room. I was already backstage, so no one questioned who I was and why I was there. I watched how hectic everything was with people rushing around preparing for their next performance. It reminded me of my days in musical theater before I went to the relative calm and relaxed atmosphere of being a performer at Disneyland.

  Whenever new people come to Disney, they think it is a madhouse backstage, but it is a picnic on the beach compared to the theater. I cannot say if the difference is down to better organization or if Disneyland simply has priorities greater than their stage shows, but the theater environment is more prone to coordinated anarchy.

  By the time Liam was ready to leave, I was ready to get some dinner. Liam had other ideas. If he had a private dressing room, we probably would have gone at it right then and there. Since it was a cruise ship and he was only a temporary replacement, he shared a dressing room with about half the cast. We went back to our cabin where we could have far more privacy and a lot more space, and we were all over each other like starved bonobo monkeys.

  There are three ways to have sex, according to Liam.

  “There’s making love,” he likes to say. “Which is what you girls like. All the soft touching and looking into each other’s eyes. There’s fucking, which is just pounding away until you’re too exhausted to move. Guys like that one. Get the job done and move on to other things. And there’s having sex, which is in between and pretty much works for everybody.”